unfinished because ben called me

In more ways than one
A dying wish
As my rational side
Battles my most passionate self
I stand in between
Daydreaming
Sailing away in thoughts of you
While I wait and see who wins
And just what will happen next

Leave Me Alone, But Just Don't Leave Me Here

And how can you ever explain
What happens in a moment
Intangibility at its finest
Even the most eloquent of us
Would falter to describe...
But moments exist
Even if we can't say what they are
And they contain things-
Important, meaningful things...

This was a moment
Filled with Chantal Kreviazuk
Crooning a love song with no redeeming factors
Save her sheer heartfeltness and honesty
And I'm surrounded with the beauty of nature
Sucked dry from being plucked, wrapped and branded
And people driven by consumerism
Their collective self-centredness
Proving that humanity can be such a plague

And then one girl
Walking with an older man
She's frail-
Her body thin and shaky
Years of self-induced malnutrition
Showing all over her face
And her arm
Mottled and misshapen
A look I know well...

This is my moment
But only the unimportant
Mundane
Superficial parts
The deeper meaning
Like a moment itself
I cannot describe

But it gave me a headache
And tensed my muscles
And not even a backrub
Coupled with a soft kiss on the neck
Could make it go away
Because I was back there

This moment has lasted
Many hours
And they say the pen is mightier than the sword
Yet I long to lay my pen down
And opt for a much sharper tool
For ink cannot express
That which I have no words for

A deep yearning
For a return that would be
More bitter than sweet
For I spent many a night like this
Lacking words
For that which blades
So beautifully expressed

And so I give in
Ever so slightly
Relief courses through my body
It's not enough
But it's all I can do
To pay homage to that time
That will last for only this moment

For I know that while she is loved
In this time
She is lucky
For in these times
I am alone...

Yesterday, Anna Called Me a Skinny Bitch

A comment I love
And hating that I love it
For it only proves
That which I can't escape

That healthy activities
Merely mask unhealthy attitudes
That an attractive outside
Masks ugliness within
That with all the
Descriptive adjectives spoken
There are a hundred judgments
Never to be uttered

Freedom in fitness?
No...
And even though I cycle
From point A to point B
And back again

I'm still trapped on a hamster wheel
Going nowhere
Fast

Strangers Helping Me Find Out Who I Am

Man I don't know: Are you married?
Me: No, I'm not

(Another) Man I don't know: Are you going somewhere?
Me: Yes I am

Okay, so I'm not married. And I'm going somewhere.
I wonder where that might be...
And I wonder what the next probing question might be...