No One Here Gets Out Alive

A girl walking by
Legs like twigs
Walking skeleton
Walking death
I gasped when I saw her
And wished so hard that it hurt
That I looked like her
My sensuous thighs
My heaving breasts
I reek, ooze, thrust
Sexuality
Its in your face
His face
Everyone's fucking face
Wishing I was that small
Shrink the sexuality right out of me
Nothing left in my puny body
No sex, no soul
But I'm too indulgent
Eating constantly
Beer to inebriate the blood
And memories
Coursing through my veins
Alcohol just burns less
Sensuous, indulgent
Female
Christianity like a skin
That I can't shed
For I am the woman who tempts
Not the goddamn snake that started it all
Sensuous.  Food.  Sex.
Oozing out of me.
Blood in my veins.
Yearning to drip out
Electrolitic Memories
Alcohol....
Alcohol...

A Lesson For Me to Keep In Mind

Quotes: Alice in Wonderland

The Duchess: You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.
Alice: Perhaps it hasn't one.
The Duchess: Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

A Knife Through My Heart- Should Be A Knife Through Everyone's Heart

"rape is sickeningly, comprehensively contemptuous because it reduces a woman to a physican convenience, a creature whose importance is exhausted by her genital use, someone whose love and sense of self- aspects of personality particularly at stake in sex- have no significance whatsoever except as vehicles for sadistic degradation"

~Ronald Dworkin, "What is Sacred", from Life's Dominion

To lie down
In bed all night
And all day
Drifting in and out of sleep
As my body is inclined to do
To cover my eyes
And weep at the searing pain
But it would be okay
Because you'd be there
To make sure I'd be fed
To make sure I'd be warm
To promise me that everything
Would be just fine
In short, to take care of me

Rather stumbling through
Day to day
A soldier
Praying my knees don't buckle
With the wieght of my body
Mind
And heart
And the blindness
That comes from
Daylight

Drowning in a puddle
Little worm asks herself
When she'll learn
That it isn't always
About her
Waiting for the sun to come out
Evaporate this new little home
Burn to rot

So, Too, Is The Horse Lame

All this fighting
I'm worn out
Day in
Day out
Beat up as
My thrift store jacket
But still, I keep fighting
For there are fans in the stands
Ready to watch me win
But after each and every meager battle
Has been won, moment to moment
Each etching itself a bit into my heart
Someone who smells so familiar
That my nostrils burn
And I vomit
Sometimes screaming
Sometimes holding my head
And in those times
I don't know why I fight
Because I suspect
That I gave up long ago
And only do what I do
Because of the constant cheering
Ringing in my head
Threatening to drive me mad

Bear Your Fangs, Little One- Show the World Just Who You Be

Who is she, this girl?
This girl inhabiting
My mere shell of a body
Looking through the windows of my eyes
No longer illuminated
Since the light went out
This needy, clingy leech
Barely capable of standing
Not walking
No forward momentum
No
This girl is demanding
In a grating whiny tone
To be carried
I hate her
This girl
Who is so attention seeking
All the time
Demanding acceptance
Demanding assurance
Demanding
Demanding
Demanding
I watch her
From the wind swirling through the trees
As she threatens to destroy
All that I hold dear
Because she understands not
That her weight is too heavy to bear
And that if she can't walk
Or can't stand
She needs to lie down and fucking die
Because life is too hard
And no one signed up for this
For her
Burdensome
Whinging
Clingy
Needy
Fucking little leech