Some Things Are Better Left... Unsaid...

You'll never understand
Because it's fucked
And I'll never understand
Because I am fucked
Unhealthy? HAH!
Who? Us? Or me?
But not always
No
Because once there were birthday cakes
With candles lit and ice cream on the side
And smiles
Once there were smiles and laughter
Until there was blood
Only blood
And love became resentment
And there is no place for forgiveness
And maybe this isn't my fault
Maybe its hard
Because you make it so
Maybe the onus ought to
Just once be on you
To not act like
My telling you all this
Is some sort of personal attack
And it's complicated
Like the way I'll never ever see him again
But feel guilty as fuck because I never called
Because you don't get it
And I can't make you understand
Because it's fucked
And I'm fucked
And why are you still here?
... I forgot to ask...