The Experiences of Elders (Or, 'Maybe Jon Doesn't Really Yearn to Leave Kate and their Kids)

The elders of our lifetime
Are supposed to have all the answers
By virtue of the fact
That they've been there before

But its one life
In one lifetime
One experience
One path

What if
There are more paths?
Many experiences?
Many souls?
Many outcomes?

Where do you look for guidance
When your heart is inexperienced
And the hearts of others
Have been tainted
Biased
By pain
And betrayal
And death
And all the things
Life inevitably brings us
Though we clamor desperately
To avoid them
Navigating life
Like walking through
A minefield

My heart can't be right
Because at best
It's an estimated guess
More likely however
Just an optimistic
Hopeful
Idea
An ostrich sticking its head in the sand

Theirs, though
Has all possibilities
Narrowed into the one
That happened
Does that mean
Other possibilities
Were never possibilities at all

They say
There's something to be said for experience
Is that just because
It's merely a compass for
Navigating the minefield?

And maybe its time to take
This one life
One lifetime
One experience
And stop seeing it
As a minefield
And start
Welcoming every dent
Bruise
Tear
This heart will encounter

I'll shed tears
And call it living
I'll become angry
And call it my true self
And then I'll repress it all
Telling myself
That none of this
NONE OF THIS
Ever mattered
In the first place