Its so done
It's so over
Anything I had ever imagined
About my life
In the near
Or distant
Future
All gone
Because my mind has learned that
It won't be such an easy task
This time
To destroy me

i want to make it easier
i want to
stop this
stop it now

stop what?
i hear myself
incoherent
whining
scared
nonsensical
nonsense

and wonder what is happening
and i hear myself
numerating all the postives
but i'm lying
because there is no positive
not now
not that i see
not that i even look for

rather
a pillow
a blanket
and a prayer
for a good dream tonight